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 Perhaps you are separated, or maybe you're thinking about separating from your
spouse. Does this mean that your marriage is definitely over?
According to a report published in the Journal of Marriage and the Family,
"approximately five million couples, or 10% of all currently married
couples in the United States, have experienced a separation and reconciliation
in their marriage."
Those five million couples used the period of time of their separation to cool
down, think things over, gain some perspective, and find some resources that
allowed them to put their marriages back together again. Many of them used that
time as a chance to do some real learning: about themselves, about relationships
in general, and about what went wrong in their relationship.
During your separation, try to use this time to stop fighting with your
spouse, and stop deliberately trying to hurt each other. Call a cease fire, and
be the one to initiate it.
Your marriage is at a critical junction right now, and at some point, you and
your spouse are going to have to make a very important decision, one that will
impact you and your children for the rest of your lives; whether to try to put
this relationship back together again, or to divorce.
School for Marriage is a relationship
curriculum for couples. School for Marriage™, provides
training and workshops to:
- prepare couples and individuals for
successful relationships
- develop effective skills to sustain
good relationships
- teach marriage educators and couples
techniques for troubled marriages
- We also provide Relationship Coaching
by appointment.
Mission Statement
School for Marriage™ believes in the sacredness of marital
relationships and holds a vision for saving marriages.
School for Marriage™ challenges couples and marriage
educators to act with integrity and mutual respect. School
for Marriage™ provides education, training and multiple
options for achieving a good marriage.
Philosophy
School for Marriage™ believes in the sacredness of marital
relationships and holds a vision for saving marriages. We
believe that couples prefer marriage to divorce and need
help in accomplishing this when they are in distress. We
believe the role of the marriage educator is to facilitate
discussion, educate the person(s), honor ambivalence when it
is present and focus the couple on the relationship and
their hopes for it. Through education and support, skills
and techniques can be taught to individuals and couples
seeking fulfilling relationships.
Our purpose
Our purpose is to prevent divorce whenever possible. Couples
on the Cusp®, ambivalent and undecided partners, are taught
Stay or Go Techniques® that are relevant to their marital
situation. Marriage educators discover the importance of
honoring their client’s ambivalence. A negotiated
Controlled Separation® contract provides a structure that
assists Couples on the Cusp® in slowing down and cooling
down in order to make a sane decision and have fewer
regrets.
This practical intervention in working
with couples encourages cooperation, as adversaries become
advocates. In this way hope is restored and couples are
energized and inspired to reclaim their integrity and
recommit to each other. In turn, children and families are
spared undue trauma.
For more information: www.controlledseparation.com
708.514.7710
Choosing Wisely - Before You Divorce
Are you considering divorce? Is your spouse?
Don’t let the emotional intensity of a marriage crisis drive your decision. Before deciding whether to divorce or stay together, you need lots of information.
Before You Divorce will help you step back from the emotional turmoil you now face to take an objective view of how divorce (if you select that path) will affect your life in several different areas:
- Emotional
- Physical
- Financial
- Legal
- Children and family
- Spiritual
It is essential that you have this information before making your decision.
The Before You Divorce kit includes five video sessions, two workbooks and a Facilitators Guide, packaged in an attractive library case. Each video session is produced in an interesting television magazine format. The sessions include interviews with top experts and real-life stories of people who have experienced divorce. The
Before You Divorce workbook includes a section for taking notes as you view each video, a daily devotional and a journal section. The total cost for the entire kit is only $60.00, a small investment to make before making such a life-changing decision.
You'll find these tapes helpful if your current status falls in one of these categories:
- You are still married but having major problems. You and your spouse may have already talked about separation or divorce.
- You are still living together but have separated emotionally.
- You have separated physically but are still married. You or your spouse may be involved in a relationship with another person.
- You have divorced but have not remarried. Again, you or your spouse may have already become involved in a romantic and/or sexual relationship with another person.
This program is designed to be used in a variety of situations:
- Individual: View the video sessions and complete the workbook exercises on your own.
- Couple: View the videos and discuss with your spouse.
- Facilitated: A friend, family member, pastor or counselor can guide you through the materials (as a couple or individual). A Facilitators Guide is included.
Before You Divorce is not marriage counseling. This material does not address typical problems such as communication, money, sexual difficulties, dysfunction, abuse and intimacy. There are so many factors that contribute to the breakdown of a marriage that it would be impossible to deal with them all in the scope of the
Before You Divorce materials.
Before You Divorce will help lead you to one of two choices:
- You will proceed with plans for a divorce.
- You will decide to remain married and attempt to resolve your problems.
If you choose the second option, then it will be important for you and your spouse to develop and implement a plan to rebuild your marriage. Many resources are available in your community to assist you in this, including guidance from your pastor, a Christian counselor, or a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Even if you have already tried counseling, you may want to give it another chance after viewing these tapes.
And by all means, take advantage of a number of the resources described in other sections of this web site.
Most people who divorce don't understand the many implications of their decision before making it. By spending just a little time with these videos and this workbook, you'll have a good overview of the divorce process, what effects a divorce will have on your life and a better understanding of the alternatives to divorce.
No matter how bad things are between you and your spouse right now, we believe it is essential for you to know this information. Do not proceed with a divorce until you have seen the
Before You Divorce materials. They will have a lasting effect on the quality of your life.
The Choosing Wisely - Before You Divorce material can be ordered by calling
800.489.7778.
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