Divorce

The psychological pain of the loss of a relationship is deep-seated.  During a separation or divorce, many emotions come into  play: confusion, anger, sadness, and fear, to name a few.  Many programs in the Chicagoland area recognize the difficult nature of life at this time and offer support and guidance for you.

If you are separated,  use the time of separation to reflect on what is best for you. Attend Retrouvaille (a weekend retreat for troubled marriages), and seek effective counseling from a professional.

If you are a single parent, seek help from other single parents. Attend parent education opportunities in your community, school and church. Ask for help when you need it.

If you are co-parenting, learn to share the children in a kind way. Do not punish the other parent. Only the children suffer with that behavior. Each time you diminish the other parent, you diminish half of your child. For your sake and the sake of the children – it’s better to be kind than to be right.

If you are divorced, attend peer self-help groups, seek effective, professional counseling to help you manage the changes in your life; get plenty of rest and exercise, eat smartly.  

Divorce & the Rest of the Family
Divorce affects more than just the couple ending their marriage. Children in the family are affected. In-laws on both sides are experiencing the loss, too, as are neighbors and friends.

Offer help to the divorced:

• Show the care you still have for them.
• Support and comfort the children as they adjust to the changes.
• Listen well and with understanding.
• Suspend judgments.
• Expect to mourn the end of this marriage.
• Take a casserole over to the family.
• Offer respite to the custodial parent on occasion.
• Welcome all members of the family at public and social gatherings.
• Be mindful that there are no "ex" parents, only "ex" spouses.
• Be kind to those in pain over the trauma of the divorce.
• Focus on the bright side of future opportunities and challenges.

Divorce is never the plan the couple had for their life. Extend help in appropriate ways.